Is it wrong for me to complain? I think people think that since I did find an answer and did get a “cure” that I should just shut up and be happy. I’m having a hard time doing that. I am so far less than what I should be. I am suffering and miserable. I’m watching the train wreck that is my life.<\/p>\n
So much that needs to be done, and I can’t do it. I can’t even do the very basics. I have to get a lot of help, just to get through each day. My house is a wreck. I’m embarrassingly behind on any financial recording\/filing etc. I have a hard time thinking and planning. My brain just doesn’t work like it should. And what works is preoccupied with discomfort and pain.<\/p>\n
But I shouldn’t complain because I’m alive, I have the help (although they are also worn and weary) and I have at least a better prognosis than my current condition. So I need to just suck it up and deal. I guess I’ve done so much sucking up and dealing for the past 12 years, I’m just all sucked out.<\/p>\n
It’s not that I’m not grateful. I’m extremely grateful for the medical help I finally got, for the family that has kept me alive and for God that provides for me again and again. I have a hard time showing and expressing my gratitude because I am having a hard time right now showing or expressing anything. Ever since my surgery it has all felt like an extended out of body experience. I don’t know myself anymore. I’m experiencing feelings and physical pain and limitations I’ve never known before. I’ve had to relearn how to do almost everything.<\/p>\n
I sincerely hope I will get better than I am right now. I really don’t know how I would cope in this state of being for years. Just months is enough to make me want to request a medically induced coma until I’m through this stage.<\/p>\n
I know, I shouldn’t complain. How about I strike a deal. Anyone who thinks I shouldn’t complain can do a day long shift in my body. I’d love a break from it anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Is it wrong for me to complain? I think people think that since I did find an answer and did get a “cure” that I should just shut up and be happy. I’m having a hard time doing that. I am so far less than what I should be. I am suffering and miserable. I’m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/81"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/cushings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}