{"id":125,"date":"2007-08-27T19:16:18","date_gmt":"2007-08-28T00:16:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thetucker.com\/mwp\/herr-modehosen-125"},"modified":"2007-08-27T19:16:18","modified_gmt":"2007-08-28T00:16:18","slug":"herr-modehosen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/herr-modehosen-125","title":{"rendered":"Herr Modehosen"},"content":{"rendered":"

Perry and I are taking off for the Panhandle on Thursday, and I worry constantly that he’ll get bored in the car. He’s fickle like that, and might lose interest in me if things get too dull, so I’ve come up with a list of things to keep him jumping for the whole 32 hours of the round-trip drive. My ideas, in no particular order:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Figure out how to sing Mr. Fancy Pants in German and do it often.<\/li>\n
  2. Take Lynn’s guitar and learn how to play it.<\/li>\n
  3. Invent games such as “name that smell” and “what’s more annoying than this<\/em>?”<\/li>\n
  4. Speak only in limericks.<\/li>\n
  5. Drive with my feet.<\/li>\n
  6. Drive in the buff.<\/li>\n
  7. Drive with my feet while riding in the buff on the hood.<\/li>\n
  8. Pretend I’m a tiny bushman and speak only in clicks and squeaks when we stop to eat.<\/li>\n
  9. Think up hundreds of abusive Mad Libs.<\/li>\n
  10. Get the attention of the highway patrol and attempt to evade them.<\/li>\n
  11. Ride in the median as much as possible.<\/li>\n
  12. Stop at every mile marker and try to mark it.<\/li>\n
  13. Carry a constant supply of Jolt Cola to support the above (and other endeavors).<\/li>\n
  14. Loop “Shiny Happy People” the whole time.<\/li>\n
  15. Smoke my pipe the whole time.<\/li>\n
  16. Try to sit in his lap the whole time.<\/li>\n
  17. Repeat everything he says the whole time, with a German accent.<\/li>\n
  18. Signal fellow travelers with his currently-equipped underwear.<\/li>\n
  19. Constantly misuse words, like “exert” instead of “assert.” Have to exert my manhood.<\/li>\n
  20. Come up with a hundred new verses of “Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit.”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I really think he’ll enjoy the agenda.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Perry and I are taking off for the Panhandle on Thursday, and I worry constantly that he’ll get bored in the car. He’s fickle like that, and might lose interest in me if things get too dull, so I’ve come up with a list of things to keep him jumping for the whole 32 hours […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15,18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}