{"id":571,"date":"2012-11-04T17:24:11","date_gmt":"2012-11-04T23:24:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/?p=571"},"modified":"2012-11-04T18:31:16","modified_gmt":"2012-11-05T00:31:16","slug":"gifts-from-the-motherland","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/gifts-from-the-motherland-571","title":{"rendered":"Gifts from the motherland"},"content":{"rendered":"

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My boss went to India for a few weeks a couple months ago to, well, I guess, spread his self-perceived awesomeness (hush it, you lurker, I haven’t said you were off… not yet at least). I can’t say for sure what he did over there because I’ve never really known what goes on here, but I bet he thought it was pretty dadgum spectacular.<\/p>\n

The offshore crew, in an obvious attempt to elevate themselves above the boss guy in the estimation of the rest of us, somehow persuaded him to mule a shipment of handcrafts back to us. The picture, above, sucks. What it’s supposed to tell you is a beautifully intricate tale of a pregnant mama elephant and the dedication of the craftsmen who brought her to be, but instead it’s just muttering something about a gray rock with some holes in it. Oh well. So I’m not a photographer, either.<\/p>\n

Their attempt succeeded too, at least at first, because I was ready to forget my boss’ name and learn theirs instead. But just about then my keen and beautifully blue eyeballs picked out the little elephant’s true story: a dirty, yucky, nasty one involving at least a hundred little spiders-to-be. Arachnophobe that I am, dear reader, that was almost too much. My black little heart almost went still right then, but since true evil can’t ever really be stopped here I still be.<\/p>\n

Whew. I’ll be glad when these elections are over and we have an empty suit in the office–old or new, it won’t really matter–and I can go back to just being a guy and not the devil on the rational side of the fence.<\/p>\n

ANYWAY, here I still be, and I there at work still lives my pretty little elephant. Now only if my boss’ problems could also be eliminated with a can of compressed air…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My boss went to India for a few weeks a couple months ago to, well, I guess, spread his self-perceived awesomeness (hush it, you lurker, I haven’t said you were off… not yet at least). I can’t say for sure what he did over there because I’ve never really known what goes on here, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":578,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions\/578"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.thetucker.com\/mwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}