OK, so the cat is out of the bag now.
Or rather, the cat is technically still in the bag, and we don’t know what the cat looks like yet, but news of the bagged cat is… well… out of the bag.
Anyway, the recently emancipated news is that Lynn and I are going to be parents next year! The first trimester ended just this week, and our expected due date is May 7, 2008. All is well, and the little guy has a good, fast heartbeat. Lynn has been under much less stress now that she’s gone to a part-time schedule at work, and I think that’s helped. She still gets a little nauseous, and she’s definitely looking forward to the metabolism boost that everybody keeps promising is coming, but she hasn’t complained much at all. She’s even talking about doing it again already… but of course my alien spawn hasn’t popped out of her belly yet. We’ll see what she thinks after she actually meets the little fellow…
It’s an exciting time for me, but also an introspective one. I’m going to have to pony the crap up with some qualities I don’t really think I have, and soon… and that’s what’s truly scary about the whole thing. Things like patience and willpower and follow-through-itude are going to be important, but they’re the very things I struggle so much with. I’ve needed to exercise all three of them in the past (with varying degrees of success), but staying consistent with them has always been the hardest part.
I go through phases where I’m absolutely fired up about something, and there’s no way to stop me during those times. My attention still divides frequently, of course, but I always find the strength to refocus it and get the job done, and at a quality level at least an order of magnitude higher than expected. Getting through school the second time was a good example of that. It wasn’t a sustained “fired up” phase, though, but rather a string of phases, some stronger than others, broken here and there by unforseen circumstances in my life. I was between semesters when Mom died, and it took a huge effort to even stay enrolled. I wound up having to drop a class or two during that semester, and my heart just wasn’t in my work. Lynn’s support and, well, nagging (which I appreciate now, after the fact) were the only things that kept me on task then, and looking back I can see how well the two of us always work together in stressful situations.
Because of that, our child is going to have a huge advantage over what sadly seems to be the majority of other children in this country. Having two parents that love and respect each other and who, despite their many weaknesses and shortcomings, each always manage to strengthen and encourage the other under fire, is an important first step. Being wanted by both is important as well, and that’s definitely the case here. I’ve seen too many children trapped in feuds between their parents–and was one myself, long ago–and I don’t want my own child to ever feel like he was the catalyst for that kind of trouble. We’ll fail him in many ways, that’s for sure, but not in that way. Not ever.
So, anyway, I got fired up pretty hot when I first heard the news, and the trick now will be to maintain that fire. If you don’t mind, I’m putting some of that responsibility on you. Tell me when I’m slacking, and remind me how critical my perfection–or at least my attempt at it–is going to be for my blessed little child. Keep us in your prayers, and rejoice, for a new little Beauchamp-Simmons is nigh upon us!