Archive for category Road Trip 2007
I just found out Wayne and his wife Meya will be accompanying Lynn and me to the other end of the state next weekend. It’ll only be like 7 hours in the car, though, so unfortunately none of my preparations for RT2007.0 will be any good.
Except for maybe my Mr. Fancy Pants loop CD. And my buttnut repellent.
Ed: I originally reported that Perry, not Wayne, was joining us. Fortunately this is not the case.
Finally made it home to a smiling Lynn. I’m exhausted, though, and may have left several hundred dollars’ worth of dirty clothes at Giggy’s
(Jott from Eugene ) We made it back to our home state of confusion and we were welcomed via traffic …
“We made it back to our home state of confusion and we were welcomed via traffic jam and Perry is starting to spoil.”
Listen to Eugene’s message
(Jott from Eugene ) We just drove to Palestine and we realized that we have made a critical error an…
“We just drove to Palestine and we realized that we have made a critical error and not bringing a […] guide to reload.”
Listen to Eugene’s message
Wow… our time at Giggy’s was short-lived. We rolled back into Texarcana around 12:30 am, and got a much nicer room than before for the same price as before. Actually, it’s about $3 cheaper, but they don’t provide the same entertainment options: roach rodeos, name-that-face stains, smells from the past, etc.
It was a pretty good day. Perry was finally somewhat well-behaved… probably from the spanking rendered by his Giggy. It’ll take me a while to sort all of this new ammunition by caliber, though…
And now he’s annoying me. Good night.
It’s really a groovy place. All the roaches and muggers think so, anyway… and a billion underbelly lifeforms can’t be wrong.
Just kidding… it’s not so bad. And we made it all the way to Texas on the first evening! Like, just barely… like one mile in… but still. I’m very pleased with that last little push. I kept feeling like we were being pursued all through Little Rock by Mr. Pentecostal Beerbreath… the mugger/killer that approached us while we snuggled in the car at a gas station. So here we is.
Perry’s been sort of a buttnut (as per the usual), but nothing I couldn’t handle with a well-timed German swear word and accompanying open-handed love smack.
Very interesting, how those transcriptions are turning out! Some of them are pretty close to what was actually intended!
Night. We have free breakfast until 9am, so I guess we’ll be up before then… and playing it by ear later…
Perry and I are taking off for the Panhandle on Thursday, and I worry constantly that he’ll get bored in the car. He’s fickle like that, and might lose interest in me if things get too dull, so I’ve come up with a list of things to keep him jumping for the whole 32 hours of the round-trip drive. My ideas, in no particular order:
- Figure out how to sing Mr. Fancy Pants in German and do it often.
- Take Lynn’s guitar and learn how to play it.
- Invent games such as “name that smell” and “what’s more annoying than this?”
- Speak only in limericks.
- Drive with my feet.
- Drive in the buff.
- Drive with my feet while riding in the buff on the hood.
- Pretend I’m a tiny bushman and speak only in clicks and squeaks when we stop to eat.
- Think up hundreds of abusive Mad Libs.
- Get the attention of the highway patrol and attempt to evade them.
- Ride in the median as much as possible.
- Stop at every mile marker and try to mark it.
- Carry a constant supply of Jolt Cola to support the above (and other endeavors).
- Loop “Shiny Happy People” the whole time.
- Smoke my pipe the whole time.
- Try to sit in his lap the whole time.
- Repeat everything he says the whole time, with a German accent.
- Signal fellow travelers with his currently-equipped underwear.
- Constantly misuse words, like “exert” instead of “assert.” Have to exert my manhood.
- Come up with a hundred new verses of “Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit.”
I really think he’ll enjoy the agenda.