Mama is now 35 pounds under her pre-pregnancy weight.  Some of you may be interested in her fitness plan so I will outline it for you.

For this plan, you will need a sixteen pound baby.  If you don’t have a sixteen pound baby, substitute a sixteen pound sack of potatoes.

First you can only sleep six hours a night.  Set an alarm to go off a couple of times during the night.  This is to mimic the fact that your potato sack is fussing.  Drag yourself out of bed and go to the room with the potato sack.  Hold it on your shoulder and march around the room while bouncing it for a few minutes, then go back to bed.

Now, for the whole day, carry your potato sack with you everywhere you go.  You can only put it down for a handful of 30 minute periods.  Your potato sack needs three naps that it can only take while you hold it.  To get your potato sack to sleep you will need to walk around the house while bouncing your potato sack up and down on your chest.  You need to do that for 15 to 30 minutes each time.  After your potato sack is asleep, you can sit in a rocking chair and rock with the potato sack on your shoulder, but your potato sack will try to wake up every 15 to 20 minutes, so you will need to stand and bounce it for a few minutes.  Your goal is for your potato sack to sleep for two hours each time, but this is very hard to achieve.

You can only eat food that you can prepare while holding your potato sack.  You can also never go anywhere except outside to get the mail (while carrying your potato sack) or out on the porch swing (also with your potato sack).